We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
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he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
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We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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