I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
