you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize