so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
