He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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