areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
