I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
