All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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