Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
