Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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