Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
