i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
