Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
