I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You brought string cheese to the strip club
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
