She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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