one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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