Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
