Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
