I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
