you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I have post one night stand depression
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
