More tranny stories later!
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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