2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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