Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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