she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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