i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
