Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
