Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
