if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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