know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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