Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
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My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
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GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course