you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them