Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Just pee around me
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...