Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves