Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
