Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
