turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize