Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I love you. Go after that dick
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
