i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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