doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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