Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize