I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
