Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
