That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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