Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
