I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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