omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
