Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
