I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
