We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
