I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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