I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
