Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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