i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
