I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
