He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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