That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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