he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
