Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
