I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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