he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
